That Guy Vol. 2
Toto? Really? Yeah, REALLY
Ladies and gentlemen… fucking Toto.
Yes, yes indeed. The masterminds behind Hold the Line, Rosanna, and the ironic-but-maybe-not-so-ironic karaoke (RIP Shigeichi Negishi) banger Africa are fucking THEM. David Paich, Jeff Porcaro, David Hungate, Steve Lukather, Steve Porcaro, and Bobby Kimball are at least partially responsible for more records and more hits than you can reasonably manage to wrap your head around. I’m two hours deep into research and I’m still finding records these men have jammed on.
I’ll cut to the chase. These six musicians played on collectively more than 5,000 records. That’s a five followed by three zeroes. 5,000. I’m sorry… fucking WHAT? Oh, that’s not all. Those 5,000+ albums have sold more than 500,000,000 copies. Let me write that not as a numerical but as plain text: five hundred million records. In other words, half a billion records. HALF A BILLION. One out of every 16 people on the entire goddamn planet have purchased a record one of these six men played on. As a collective, the band is worth $1.7 billion.
They started as session musicians, playing as on-demand musicians for a variety of artists across the spectrum of popular music. They decided to unite in ‘77 as a wild consortium of jazz, funk, blues, rock, pop, soul, and R&B music. It worked. They scored six Grammy’s and sold more than 40 million records, but the real work was done behind the scenes. Again, they started and continued as in-demand session musicians. They’ve played on records by (DEEP INHALE), Steely Dan, Joe Cocker, Three Dog Night, Jackson Browne, Boz Scaggs, Carly Simon, Eric Carmen (RIP), Hall & Oates, Earth, Wind, & Fire, Diana Ross, Warren (Excitable Boy) Zevon, the Pointer Sisters, Rickie Lee Jones, Pink Floyd, Aretha (Voice of God) Franklin, the Bee Gees, Al Jarreau, Crosby, Stills, & Nash, Michael Jackson, Lionel Richie, Paul Simon, Randy Newman, Chicago, Jefferson Airplane, Eric Clapton, Dr. John, Celine Dion, Madonna, Bruce Springsteen, Cher, Dire Straits, Bonnie Strait, Rod Stewart, B-52s, Bryan Adams, Neil Diamond, Pink, the Doobie Brothers, Shania Twain, Donna Summer, Joe Satriani, Steve Vai, Yes, George Harrison, Ringo Starr, and Paul McCartney (EXHALE).
So the odds-on bet, including Hold the Line and Africa, factoring in Mike Jackson’s Thriller, you, me, and everyone else you know IN THIS LIFE have jammed out to a song featuring Toto as a band or as a member of that supremely talented collective.