John Mellencamp - Authority Song

Because Fuck You, That's Why

1. Let us speak plainly about this. No one gets into Rock and Roll or Hip-Hop because they respect authority and love responsibility. You could make a compelling argument people get into music precisely to tell authority to go to hell while actively avoiding responsibility. The list of pro-authority and responsibility songs in the canon is as long as my list of political accomplishments, which is another way of saying none at all, because fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me. We need our outlaws. We need our rebels to tell the police to go fuck themselves. We’ve been in love with them since Robin Hood was camping in Sherwood and robbing the rich to give to the poor. Our very country was founded on a middle finger to the man. King George III? Fuck him! Our favorite fictional billionaire playboy spends his spare time as a vigilante in the Gotham night. We make movies about Billy the Kid, Bonnie and Clyde, and John Dillinger, and paint them as folk heroes. In this song as in those movies, authority wins. I do disagree with Mr. Mellencamp’s point about authority always winning. Sometimes they lose, and that is why we keep giving authority the finger. Mellencamp sings, “They like to get you in a compromising position. They like to get you there and smile in your face.” Doesn’t that just piss you off when they do that? Yeah… me too. Watching them lose fills me with a deep satisfaction. They change the rules. They move the goalposts. They do whatever they can to keep you from winning, and when you finally, at long last, beat them at their own bullshit game they pout and whine and moan, and I drink it up like a man in the desert.

   “Fuck ‘em.” Shortest prayer in the world.

   -Gary Oldman

2. You gotta figure Mellencamp, Seger, and Springsteen are drinking buddies, right? Wouldn’t that be a great time? Hanging out with the Cougar, Seger, and the Boss as they get drunk, talk shit, and share ideas. All of them would be beer drinkers too, you just know it. Hear me out: three of the original Traveling Wilburys are gone, but John, Bob, and Bruce are still here. While I’m considering this, Neil Young is still around too. These guys strike chords in renegade spirits. They’re not the kind to throw a Molotov cocktail, but they are the kind to make smirking remarks (In that fine John Prine style) in the faces of those who told them they couldn’t become who they are. There’s a deep satisfaction in that too, and those satisfactions are permanent. The greatest success is a life well-lived. Once upon a time, I thrived on oppositional provocation. I needed an opponent to tell me I wasn’t capable enough, or smart enough, or strong enough… or just enough in general. Now? Not so much. Now that drive comes from within. No one is pushing me in the civilian world. I can literally wait around to die, but I’m more interested in building a life worth dying for. That would be enough.

   So I call up my preacher
   I say, "Gimme strength for Round 5"
   He said, "You don't need no strength, you need to grow up, son"

   John Mellencamp, Authority Song

3. I learned early on in my life that people in positions of authority aren’t always there because they’re the authority. I understand the complexity of spending a lifetime in the military and then preaching the validity of damning the man. No place is more rife with hilarious hypocrisy than the military. The real authority regularly turns down a promotion because it keeps them from the classroom, from teaching, from educating. Frequently, the authority is in that position because they hung around long enough to simply inherit the job. They were just next in line. Sometimes they’re in the big chair because they didn’t muck up their career arc. Sometimes they just say “yes” to the right people and “no” to people like me and they find themselves adorned with credible titles that don’t actually mean anything. These people fall upward and are utterly incapable of original thought, which is the true crime. They can only manage. They cannot lead. They’ll lie outright rather than admit fault. They’ll sacrifice you happily if they can satisfy the status quo. For that reason alone, they deserve a hearty, mighty, amplified FUCK YOU. Lastly, and this is a complete afterthought but nonetheless completely valid, those of us who love the fight can never actually lose. The authority always hates it when we smile back. Through busted lips and broken teeth, we smile back. They can never truly win because it’s the fight itself that makes us happy. Is that juvenile? Sure is. I don’t care. I’m at peace with who I am.

   Authority is supposedly grounded in wisdom, but I could see from a very early age that authority was only a system of control. And it didn't have any inherent wisdom. I quickly realized that you either became a power or you were crushed.

   -Joe Strummer