James Carr - The Dark End of the Street

Steal Away

1. I was a willing participant in a lovely woman’s affair for some time many years ago. She was in an utterly sexless marriage, and I was a second-class citizen in my own relationship. We reached out to each other because of attraction and circumstance. It went far further than it should have almost immediately. I accept the entirety of the guilt and blame. This was a thing I did. You are, of course, free to condemn me. I can carry it. I have no regrets about it. We are capable enough to see ourselves through the lens of how others want to see us. It factors then that two wounded and lonely people would ache to see themselves in the other, if for no other reason than simple moments of adoration. Oh, to feel wanted. Oh, to wrap yourself in a blanket of desire provided by someone willing and capable when each of us is at our most vulnerable. There’s healing power there even through the fog of guilt and pressure of shame. We found compassion together in each other. What’s more? We both deserved it.

   I know time is gonna take its toll
   We have to pay for the love that we stole
   It's a sin and we know it's wrong
   Oh, but our love keeps coming on strong

   -James Carr, The Dark End of the Street

2. The psychology of cheating has been covered extensively by qualified professionals in the medical field and perhaps more importantly, by songwriters the world over who are almost certainly equally qualified. Hank Williams would like to address the doctoral dissertation defense committee. I’ve told you the reasons why she and I had our illicit rendezvouses. It weighed on each of us in different ways, and we carried on despite those significant burdens. Some needs are too potent. Some pulls are too powerful. Human existence is fragile on even the firmest of ground. I am compelled to examine the forces that push us together and the agony that exists in the parting. I don’t have the recipe, but I am certain touch, tenderness, compassion, and desire are all necessary to remain pushed together. She needed each of them and not always in equal measure. I needed to supply them to feel valued, to feel useful. We found in each other the right tools and materials to rebuild ourselves, if for just a brief while.

   Hiding in shadows where we don't belong
   Living in darkness to hide our wrongs
   You and me at the dark end of the street
   You and me

   -James Carr, The Dark End of the Street

3. My record stacks are filled with literally hundreds of thousands of songs about heartache, heartbreak, loneliness, loss, lying, cheating, and misery. There’s a looooong list of fantastic cheating songs. Is it just that only musicians suffer through this? No, no, that can’t be. Infidelity seems to be common throughout the human condition. Tolstoy hit us with this from Anna Karenina:

   “Happy families are all alike;

   every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”

   The cheating song resides tucked in nice and tight in the American songbook. It towers over the little respected “I’m stuck in this loveless, sexless marriage but I’m staying because my children need me” songs. What becomes of our romantic aspirations and dreams? What do we do to ourselves to feel a measure of comfort in an increasingly confusing existence? Somewhere, tucked inside that Venn Diagram is a remarkable song. If you look closely with the right kind of eyes, you can find it at the dark end of the street.

   Oh darling, please don't cry
   Tonight we'll meet at the dark end of the street
   You and me

   -James Carr, The Dark End of the Street