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Dave Valdez's avatar

This is one of the rare occasions in which I feel comfortable sharing some of my music history, and I’m glad for the opportunity to wax rhapsodic about Frank Zappa.

I was introduced to the bewildering genius of Frank Zappa during the halcyon days of the summer of 1990. I was attending UAHC Camp Swig in Saratoga, CA, and a young man from Brentwood by the name of Caleb Omens introduced me to musicians I’d never heard of. The big three were Thomas Dolby (I don’t think anyone besides the two of us really appreciate the hilarity of Aliens Ate My Buick), Stu Hamm (honestly, it was just one track), and Frank Zappa.

Caleb introduced me to songs like “Jesus Thinks You’re A Jerk” and “Titties & Beer.” Little did I know that Zappa had also performed with Robert Plant for a cover of “Sea of Love” with or as the Honeydrippers.

I learned later in life that the man who produced “The Black Page,” “Valley Girl,” and “I Promise Not to Cum In Your Mouth” did it all sober. This paragon of epic weird did it with no booze or weed. This was all unvarnished Frank Zappa, and that Meant Something.

To me, Zappa had that thing. He was a musician’s musician. He was one of those people who could only be found by Those Who Know, not the unwashed masses who think NKOTB are the pinnacle of boy bands, which is the height of musical accomplishment to them.

Frank Zappa is one of the Deep Cut Masters. Most people have no idea what his most famous songs are. His concert and studio albums embrace cacophony, and while that sounds like a bad thing, it is amazing.

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