Blessed Are the Billionaires
Why the Faithful Should Trust in the Divine Wisdom of the Rich
Behold, a new era has dawned, an age divinely ordained, where the Lord’s chosen leader — a billionaire blessed with material abundance — has been elected to dismantle the very system that bestowed upon him his riches. Surely, this is evidence of divine providence, for as it is written in the Book of Exemptions 3:16, "Blessed are the wealthy, for they shall inherit the mechanisms of governance."
Let us first marvel at the profound wisdom of this decision. Who better to tear down the towers of excess than those who dwell in their penthouses? Who better to liberate the downtrodden than those who have stood atop them? The fox is, after all, best suited to guard the henhouse, for he knows its every vulnerability. It is the sacred duty of billionaires to renounce their golden thrones and serve the common man, as it says in Prosperities 12:8, "He who has hoarded much shall now hoard for others."
Our leader’s qualifications are beyond reproach. His mastery of golf courses, tax havens, and private jets surely equips him to navigate the stormy seas of public policy. And his council of 14 billionaire disciples — a celestial quorum of wealth — has been summoned to assist him. Who better to steer the ship of state than those who have already mastered the art of profiting from it? Truly, the Lord works in mysterious ways, as proclaimed in Lucre 5:10: "The gilded shall guide, for they have seen the summit and yearn to descend."
Already, their holy mission is underway. The first righteous act is to ensure that the burden of governance does not weigh heavily upon the blessed wealthy. Tax cuts for the rich are not mere policy but a sacrament, a redistribution of divine favor. Deregulation is a hymn of freedom sung for corporations shackled by the oppressive chains of environmental protection and worker safety. How else can these titans find the strength to dismantle their own empires? As Taxonomies 4:4 reminds us, "Loosen the yoke of the mighty, and they shall lighten the load of the meek."
The administration’s rhetoric is nothing short of inspired. To speak of "draining the swamp" while filling it with creatures of unparalleled girth is a parable for the ages. It is not hypocrisy but strategy, a lesson in faith for the doubters. For who understands the plight of the poor better than those who ensure its perpetuation? And who can better destroy inequality than those who have perfected its architecture? As it is written in Ironies 9:12, "The builders of the tower shall bring it down stone by stone."
Yet the naysayers persist, wringing their hands over supposed conflicts of interest. They fail to see the Lord’s plan at work. These critics lack the faith of the electorate, who have entrusted their future to the gilded class. It is a profound act of belief, a demonstration of trust so absolute it borders on the miraculous. For, as Philanthropies 7:7 declares, "Trust in the wealthy, for their coffers overflow with the answers to thy prayers."
In generations to come, historians will gaze upon this age with awe. They will write of a nation that entrusted its fate to billionaires, a people who dared to hope that the foxes would safeguard the hens. They will marvel at the audacity of a populace that gambled everything on the goodwill of those perched atop golden thrones. And perhaps, in some distant future, this grand experiment will bear fruit—the billionaires will dismantle their dominion and replace it with a kingdom of equity.
Until that day, let us rejoice in the wisdom of our choice. Let us sing praises for this divine alignment of wealth and governance. For we are living in a blessed time, a time when the foxes guard the henhouse and we, the hens, proclaim their glory with unbridled enthusiasm. As Optimisms 11:3 assures us, "Rejoice, for the shepherds of gold shall guide thee to greener pastures."