Making McAmerica Great Again

Bold, Inspirational Leadership or the Greatest Fast Food Stunt Since the McRib?

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Trump "Works" at McDonald’s: Bold, Inspirational Leadership or the Greatest Fast Food Stunt Since the McRib?

October 21, 2024 – Palm Beach, Florida

In a breathtaking display of what some might call “relatable” leadership (and what others might call “performance art”), the 45th President and America’s Most Humble Billionaire, Donald J. Trump, recently donned the iconic golden arches uniform to "work" a shift at McDonald’s. But this was no ordinary shift — oh no. This was a Trump shift, which means, of course, that nothing was real, but everything was huge.

Working tirelessly for what seemed like almost a full 15 minutes, Trump served pretend hamburgers and imaginary French fries to his adoring, pre-vetted supporters who, for the occasion, role-played as customers. In a world where fast food is often synonymous with minimum wage, Trump broke new ground, showing America that you don’t need to actually work to show up and collect a paycheck.

You know, people, they say I’m the best at everything. Fast food? No one does fast food like me. I invented the Big Mac, believe me.

-Trump, speaking from the golden counter

Many in attendance claimed to witness history, likening Trump’s simulated service to the miracle of the loaves and fishes — though some suggest Jesus’ catering skills might be slightly overblown.

This is the greatest moment in history since Jesus handed out Filet-O-Fish sandwiches at the Last Supper.

-Karen McReal, a lifelong Trump loyalist and conspiracy theorist-in-training

An Act of Divine Proportions

Trump’s latest fast food tour de force is being hailed by some commentators as nothing short of biblical. As everyone knows, Jesus himself worked a shift at the Nazareth McDavid’s (as it was known at the time), where he too performed miracles by turning water into Sprite. As said in the often-quoted verse Burgerations 6:66, "Thou shalt supersize thy blessings for $1.49 more, and he who asks for extra ketchup shall receive it in abundance."

Trump, drawing inspiration from the Bible (which he famously declared he had “read most of, but it’s really long, folks”), invoked 1 Ronald 4:6: "For God so loved America that he sent His only son, Donald, to flip burgers and defeat socialism in the drive-thru."

A McDonald’s for the Ages

Naturally, the event wasn’t just a charitable exercise in pretend labor. No, it was a rallying cry for the everyday, hardworking, imaginary fast-food worker — the backbone of the great American dream. Trump’s PR team (and by PR team, we mean whatever interns were left after the last firing spree) spun the stunt as a bold declaration of solidarity with the common man, saying, “If President Trump can pretend to work at McDonald’s, so can you!”

Because, after all, who needs universal healthcare, better wages, or workers' rights when you’ve got a pretend paycheck and a MAGA hat signed by the former President?

Making McAmerica Great Again

The Shameless Strategies PR team proudly backs this effort to highlight Trump’s commitment to American fast food and the eternal fight against reality. Trump’s leadership in not actually working, but pretending to work, shows the path forward for millions of Americans looking to innovate their own lack of effort.

Some have even suggested that Trump is paving the way for a new form of employment — “Trump Jobs,” where the idea of working is enough to secure a paycheck. It’s a future where you, too, can avoid the perils of labor while pretending to serve an economy that never actually existed.

WWJTD: What Would Jesus Trump Do?

As the good book of McRomans 3:8 reminds us, "Thou shalt love thy neighbor, but only if he buys a combo meal and supersizes it." And Trump, being the greatest disciple of both capitalism and divine fast food, lived out this holy commandment with fervor. Who are we to argue with his vision?

After all, this is a man who built an empire on reality TV — what’s one more pretend gig? And if you think you can out-pretend the Pretender-in-Chief, just remember the words of Trump’s favorite Bible verse (which may or may not exist): “Blessed are the cheesemakers, for they shall inherit the drive-thru.”